Everyone thinks I have myself together. That’s fucking hilarious. People think I’m better when I’m under crippling stress. Holy fuck that’s great. Good thing I’m being forced to take 18 credit hours in my first semester of my freshman year in college to work toward a second major I’m not even allowed to declare yet which results in me having to take full time summer classes as well with no car and a small sliver of sanity left. I don’t know what it’s like to be happy anymore. I don’t remember what it’s like to feel like a real person. I’m a robot being pumped full of anti-psychotics, anti-depressants and adderall. I want to give up but I’m afraid of being weak. I’m so fucking scared.